Humans as a species, are constantly, and in every way, comparing themselves to one another, which, given the brief nature of their existence, seems an oddity, and for that matter, a waste. Nevertheless, this is the driving influence behind eveyr human's social development, their emotional health and sense of joy, and, sadly, their greatest tragedies. It is as though something that helped them function and live well has gone missing, and they are pining for that missing thing in all sorts of odd methods, none of which are working. The greater tragedy is that very few people understand why they have the disease. To be sure, it is killing them, and yet sustaining their social and economic systems. They are an entirely beautiful people with a terrible problem.
You are trying to feel right by comparing yourself to others. It is ridiculous. Who told you there was anything wrong with you in the first place?
i must say that i am definitely inflicted with this disease. in all honesty, i don't know of anyone that isn't, even if it's just a little bit. and it all makes sense that it started right at the beginning and has been passed down throughout generations, this need to find love, joy, and happiness. more often than not, we look for it in all the wrong places. we look for it in people when we should be looking for it in the only One who can really give true love, joy, and happiness. we try to be accepted, try to climb this invisible social ladder, being liked more, being more popular, etc. i know that in the current season i'm in, it's a struggle to keep in mind that i need to keep my eyes set on God, and try to win His heart and seek HIS kingdom first above all things. it's so easy to get caught up with this race to the top, trying to find my joy in people, turning to my "jury of peers" to make me feel loved, important, and good. it's a hard realization to come to, but a good one.